Vernacular Peeves or Americanisms I Love to Hate

My last blog on Americanisms brought me some private e-mail on the differences between British and American English. I thought it would be fun to hear from a British editor. One never knows what we can learn from one another--we two overseas cousins. So here's a guest post from Maggie Lyons:

Vernacular Peeves, or Americanisms I Love to Hate

by Maggie Lyons

The American vernacular is full of ungrammatical phrases and words that may add realistic zest to your novel’s dialogue but can also sneak into your writing or your speech when you least want to be colorful—when creating a book proposal or during an interview, for instance. Here are a few examples that take the enamel off my teeth.

She could care less about the spelling errors in her prose: This means, “She cares about the spelling errors, but she could care less,” to which you might reply, “Would she care less about the errors if I paid her a big enough advance to care less about them?”

Correction: She couldn’t care less about the spelling errors in her prose.

I’m waiting on my editor: If your editor ordered a dirty Martini and chocolate-coated ants, and you are his waiter, this phrase would not be a problem—though your editor’s culinary preferences might be. If you are waiting because your editor is late, then this is a problem.

Correction: I’m waiting for my editor.

“As far as our readers,” the publisher said, “we offer excellent value.” Did the publisher mean he offered “excellent value” to everyone except his readers—up to but not including his readers? Assuming this is an unreasonable interpretation of the phrase—or is it in this era of corporate licence?—a verb must be added for the sake of grammar and clarity.

Correction: “As far as concerns our readers . . .”

I am so not blogging: Apart from the fact that not blogging could be a major marketing oversight, when “so” means “very,” it can’t be used with a verb.

Correction: I’m not blogging, or I’m against blogging, or I don't blog, and so on.

How did Starving Author’s presentation at the library go? He did good: Assuming Starving Author was not being altruistic and doing good for the library community, an adverb is needed here, not an adjective.

Correction: He did well.

It’s a real nice bookstore: Unless this sentence means the bookstore is a real store as opposed to a virtual one, in which case a comma should follow “real” (a real, nice bookstore), the adjective “real” should be replaced by an adverb.

Correction: It’s a really nice bookstore.

Irregardless of the fact that she led a boring life, she produced extraordinarily imaginative memoires.

Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary politely categorizes “irregardless” as “nonstandard.” “Irregardless” is a double negative and, literally interpreted, means the opposite of regardless.

Correction: Regardless of the fact . . .

When we go to the sci-fi book launch party next weekend, let’s bring some aliens from Mars: “Bring” implies an action in the present or at the point of arrival. Because the book launch is in the future—next weekend—we are still at the point of departure, which requires the use of the verb “to take.”

Correction: When we go to the sci-fi book launch party next weekend, let’s take some aliens from Mars.

The public relations department has distributed their press release: Presumably the public relations department did not distribute another group’s press release, which is what the above sentence implies. Don’t mix singular and plural in reference to nouns that refer to groups of people. The singular verb “has distributed” should be complemented with the singular possessive adjective “its.”

Correction: The public relations department has distributed its press release.

If I would have known J. K. Rolling was going to judge the writing contest, I would have entered my book of spells: There is a “would” in this sentence that casts no charm.

Correction: If I had known J. K. Rolling was going to judge the writing contest, I would have entered my book of spells.

There’s two good reasons why my book was rejected: I suggest that one reason was grammar.

Correction: There are two good reasons why my book was rejected.

Now let’s have your pet peeves.

~Maggie Lyons is a freelance editor of almost everything, including academic and business documents, fiction and nonfiction manuscripts, ESL documents, and Web content, and she edits both British and American English. See her website for more grammar goodies at http://lyonseditorialservices.com. She is also a children’s writer (http://www.maggielyons.yolasite.com) with two books for middle-grade readers to be released later this year by MuseItUp Publishing (http://museituppublishing.com).

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Carolyn Howard-Johnson edits, consults. and speaks on issues of publishing. Find her The Frugal Editor: Put Your Best Book Forward to Avoid Humiliation and Ensure Success (How To Do It Frugally series of book for writers). Learn more about her other authors' aids at www.howtodoitfrugally.com/writers_books.htm , where writers will find lists and other helps including Great Little Last-Minute Editing Tips on the Resources for Writers page. She blogs on all things publishing (not just editing!) at her Sharing with Writers blog. She tweets writers' resources at www.twitter.com/frugalbookpromo . Please tweet this post to your followers. We all need a little help with editing. (-: