When the Reader Doesn’t Know What the Write Knows

This is a guest post from ghostwriter Dawn Colclasure’s Substack presentations, with permission to reprint, of course! I found it especially helpful because it pinpoints why sometimes great writing advice isn’t understood or used correctly even by experiences authors. So, please read it hear and then subscribe to Dawn’s Substack series for a wide variety of articles that will help your own careers--in ways you might not have imagine! Find it at  https://dawncolclasure.substack.com/. I think you’ll also find a book or two of her to enjoy just by searching on her name at Amazon; she’s prolific and she writes in many genres. You’re likely to find your favorite among them.  

A Guest Post By Dawn Colclasure

Sometime ago, I started writing the eighth story in my GHOST Group series. This series is about a group of kids who create a ghosthunting club to investigate the many hauntings in their haunted town. Unfortunately, I struggled writing this story, and after I picked it up again just recently to tackle yet again and hopefully finish writing it, I soon learned why. One of the things I wrote in my book 365 Tips for Writers is that the reader doesn’t know what the writer knows. While I was trying to make this tip apply to both the writer of fiction and nonfiction, this tip heavily applies to writing fiction. The writer may know what a character is seeing, thinking, smelling, hearing, doing, tasting and feeling, but unless that’s included in the story, the reader won’t know this. And I discovered, as I reviewed what I’d written for this story, that these elements were missing all over the place. There was A LOT the reader would not be aware of and maybe even confused by. I knew what a character saw when she looked at her drawing and decided it was perfect, but the reader didn’t. I knew what another character saw and smelled when he entered a freshly cleaned kitchen, but the reader didn’t. Why? Because these details were missing from the story! As I realized this mistake, I was reminded of a couple of other stories I once started reading, and why this very thing made me stop reading them. In one story, there were two characters talking. The writer, bless their heart, decided to stop using dialogue tags, leaving readers in the dark on who was speaking. Normally, readers notice the last person talking and just assume the next string of dialogue was coming from the other person talking. That’s how I went with it to get through that scene. But it was when, surprise! A THIRD character entered the conversation and the writer STILL did not use dialogue tags that I lost interest in reading any more of that story. I could not figure out who was talking! (And, yes, it was nothing but dialogue, without anyone doing anything, feeling anything, thinking anything or seeing anything.) In the other story, a ghostly little girl reveals to her father her hidden remains buried in the basement. The father suddenly runs up to the bedroom where his wife is sleeping, awakens her, and yells accusations at her that she had killed their daughter. The wife’s first words? “I told you I didn’t want any children!” That was where the writer lost me. A NORMAL person would want to know why her husband woke her up screaming these accusations at her. And if she was guilty, she would likely deny it at first. Even if her husband had the remains to prove he’d found what was left of a person, the guilty party could still say there is no way to prove it was the remains of their previously missing child. She would deny it to buy herself some time. But instead of readers being made aware of these thoughts or feelings (and there are lots more that would come into play here), the wife instead responded with the claim that she had never wanted children anyway, thereby incriminating herself. While it’s true that writers need to keep certain things from the reader in order to hold interest, failing to share what a character is thinking, seeing, feeling, tasting, hearing and doing should not be one of them. Even if the character is trying to keep a weapon hidden or feeling uneasy that their cover might be blown, there are certain ways you can still write about these things without dropping the ball on your character’s guilt or identity. When I’m reading a story, I want to be COMPLETELY in the story. I want to see what the characters see. I want to know and feel what the characters know and feel. This helps me to stay in a story and it will hold my interest a lot better than some character immediately confessing to a murder that we knew nothing about in the first place.

MORE ABOUT THE BLOGGER and EDITOR 

Find the entire HowToDoItFrugally Series of books for writers at Amazon’s 

new-ish benefit for giving readers a look at a full series on a single page

and letting them order them all as e-books with a single click!

 Carolyn Howard-Johnson is the author of fiction, creative nonfiction, and poetry. She is also a marketing consultant, editor, and author of the multi award-winning HowToDoItFrugally Series of books for writers including the award-winning third edition of "The Frugal Book Promoter" and "The Frugal Editor." Her "How to Get Great Book Reviews Frugally and Ethically” is also available  in its second edition. Learn more on her Amazon profile page, http://bit.ly/CarolynsAmznProfile. 

Carolyn’s  "Great Little Last Minute Editing Tips for Writers"and "The Great First Impression Book Proposal,” are perfect inexpensive gifts for writers who want to be traditionally published.

 Carolyn has three FRUGAL books for retailers, too, including one she encourages authors to read because it helps them convince retailers to host their workshops, presentations, and signings. It is the first in that series "A Retailer’s Guide to Frugal In-Store Promotions: How To Increase Profits and Spit in the Eyes of Economic Downturns with Thrifty Events and Sales Techniques” and gives authors insight on what will convince retailers to include authors as part of their marketing campaign.

Carolyn also helps writers extend the exposure of their favorite reviews at TheNewBookReview.blogspot.com absolutely free along with her associate Lois W. Stern, and blogs at all things editing--grammar, formatting and more right here at the "The Frugal, Smart, and Tuned-In Editor" (http://TheFrugalEditor.blogspot.com). (She plans to work on it harder this year including more guest posts like this one!). 

 Her SharingwithWriters.blogspot.com blog focuses on the writing life and book marketing and promotion. It is a Writers' Digest 101 Best blogs pick.

MORE ABOUT THE GUEST BLOGGER

Dawn Colclasure also writes a column for ReaderViews.com’s free e-magazine, “First Chapter Plus” edited by Suzanne Violante. An author of many colors, she writes fiction and nonfiction as well as poetry.  Use Amazon’s great search engine to find all of her work.  Or find her here:

Dawn's links:

Websites: https://www.dmcwriter.com/ and https://dawnsbooks.com/

Blog: http://dawncolclasureblog.blogspot.com/

Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/dmcwriter.bsky.social

Facebook: 
https://www.facebook.com/authordawncolclasure/

Your Best Writing May Not Be What You Think

Your Best Writing May Not Be What You Think  

By Carolyn Howard-Johnson 

One of the biggest writing problems I see among people in my mentoring program, and others who hire me to improve their writing, is that they're afraid to write like they talk. Perhaps they fear “wordiness”, but sometimes writing like you talk is less wordy. 

For instance, they never use one-word sentences. Or fragments. Those, for sure, are not wordy!

They refuse to start sentences with words such as "and" and "but" because an elementary teacher way back when told them not to.

They try to sound important when they write. So they use long words in long sentences that make up long paragraphs.

They remove all slang from their writing so it's clean and pure. And often, boring.

Business coach Michael Angier agrees.

"Too many times, I see people who are good verbal communicators try to put
on a different air in their writing," he says. "It doesn't work. It's much
better to be conversational."

Writing like you talk is one of thirteen tips Michael offers for writing clearly and convincingly. It was one of the lead articles in an issue of Joan Stewart’s free subscription newsletter, The Publicity Hound.

 

Lisa Cron’s book, Wired for Story (http://bit.ly/Wired4Story), shows us how humans were storytellers long before they were writers and how the processes in their lives wired us for story. Story and anecdote. It works for articles like this. It works for novels—great novels. And you’ll see it appearing more and more often as part of news stories. Another book I recommend is Tom Chiarella’s Writing Dialogue (http://bit.ly/Chiarella) published by Writer’s Digest. You may find it inexpensively on Amazon’s New and Used feature. 

 

In the newest book in my multi award-winning HowToDoItFrugally Series of books for writing, How to Get Great Book Reviews Frugally and Ethically, I remind authors that the best blurbs and endorsements come from people who compliment their books and their style in off-the-cuff conversations. When asked to write a blurb or endorsement, the same people may use language that is stiff, official—and unconvincing. I tell them to ask their contacts (or reader) if they can use what their reader just said to them rather than having them back up and make it into a brittle, lifeless twig. 

And in the second edition of my Great Little Last-Minute Editing Tips, to be released September 1 and now in pre-sale mode on Amazon, I talk about how fear of breaking grammar rules (that often, by the way, aren’t really “rules” at all!) leads to unnatural dialogue. This little book also contains some of the word trippers I see most frequently in my clients’ work, and that is where there is no room wiggle room for making the wrong choice. 

 

Readers probably spent many years reading staid textbooks. They may now prefer to learn what they need quickly. When authors make their point with stories (and do it colloquially), they find their readers more easily bond to them. It’s about connection. Think loyalty.

 

Have you ever wondered why many are turning to the Web for information even at the risk of fake news and unprofessional advice. They are in a hurry. They’re after easily absorbed information (retention). You can provide both. Sure. Watch for wordiness. But don’t skip the story your readers’ brains crave. They’ll love you for it. 

-----

Carolyn Howard-Johnson writes fiction, poetry; and the #HowToDoItFrugally Series of books for writers including the award-winning third edition of, The Frugal Book Promoter: How to get nearly free publicity on your own or by partnering with your publisher; The multi award-winning second edition of The Frugal Editor; . and the second edition of The Great First Impression Book Proposal. The newest in the series is the second edition of her Great Little Last Minute Editing Tips for Writers. Her blog  TheNewBookReview.blogspot.com, lets authors recycle their favorite reviews absolutely free. Find submission guidelines in a tab at the top of the home page.

MORE ABOUT THE BLOGGER 

 Carolyn Howard-Johnson is the author of fiction, creative nonfiction, and poetry. She is also a marketing consultant, editor, and author of the multi award-winning HowToDoItFrugally Series of books for writers including the award-winning second editions of The Frugal Book Promoter and The Frugal Editor. Her latest is in the series is How to Get Great Book Reviews Frugally and Ethically. Learn more on her Amazon profile page, http://bit.ly/CarolynsAmznProfile. Great Little Last Minute Editing Tips for Writers is one of her booklets--perfect for inexpensive gift giving--and The Great First Impression Book Proposal, another booklet, helps writers who want to be traditionally published. She has three FRUGAL books for retailers including one she encourages authors to read because it will help them convince retailers to host their workshops, presentations, and signings. It is A Retailer’s Guide to Frugal In-Store Promotions: How To Increase Profits and Spit in the Eyes of Economic Downturns with Thrifty Events and Sales Techniques. She helps writers extend the exposure of their favorite reviews at TheNewBookReview.blogspot.com. She also blogs at all things editing--grammar, formatting and more--at The Frugal, Smart,and Tuned-In Editor (http://TheFrugalEditor.blogspot.com). Her SharingwithWriters.blogspot.com blog focuses on the writing life and book marketing and promotion. It is a Writers' Digest 101 Best blogs pick.

Confirmed! No Cussing May Be Treacherous for Writers

Many who know me—personally or as a writer--think of me as that sweet woman with the silver hair (platinum, if you please, but not gray!). However, I can on occasion—and sometimes more frequently—let loose with language you would unfriend me for. So I was thrilled to see an article in AARP: The Magazine titled “In Praise of Cussing.”

It turns out that a few carefully chosen zingers can be “an indicator of intelligence” according a study from Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts and Marist College in New York.

Yay!

And expletives can help “reduce and endure physical pain” as well. That’s from Keele University in England. Yep. And “forge better teams in the workplace” and “communicate more persuasively.” 

One survey even says I am in good company (meaning the majority!). Fifty-seven percent of workers swear on the job. (I do try to avoid doing that! And I also almost never swear when I am driving! So there!)

So, I don’t think you’ll ever find an unsavory expletive in this newsletter, but you are sure to find idioms and colloquialisms everywhere. I do try not to let even my foulest fictional characters cuss beyond what is needed for their character and the situation. And, yes sometimes I use words with lots of syllables, too, especially when they say things better than the short ones (which is rarely).  

All this is not to encourage writers to cuss. It is to remind them that if the words they use in dialogue are too. . . mmmm. . .staid, they may render their . . . well, let’s say unnatural? Or stilted?

One of your characters may just be the type who must have a potty mouth if she is to seem real to your reader. And sometimes that character won’t be the tough-talking dude cliché. Those who write humor know that tough-talking character may be a fragile woman with gray. . . er. . . platinum hair.

MORE ABOUT THE EDITOR and BLOGGER

 Carolyn Howard-Johnson is the author of fiction, creative nonfiction, and poetry. She is also a The Frugal Book Promoter and The Frugal Editor. Her latest is in the series is How to Get Great Book Reviews Frugally and Ethically. Learn more on her Amazon profile page, http://bit.ly/CarolynsAmznProfile . Great Little Last Minute Editing Tips for Writers is one of her booklets--perfect for inexpensive gift giving--and The Great First Impression Book Proposal, another booklet, helps writers who want to be traditionally published. She has three FRUGAL books for retailers including one she encourages authors to read because it will help them convince retailers to host their workshops, presentations, and signings. It is A Retailer’s Guide to Frugal In-Store Promotions: How To Increase Profits and Spit in the Eyes of Economic Downturns with Thrifty Events and Sales Techniques. She helps writers extend the exposure of their favorite reviews at TheNewBookReview.blogspot.com. She also blogs at all things editing--grammar, formatting and more--at The Frugal, Smart,and Tuned-In Editor (http://TheFrugalEditor.blogspot.com). Her SharingwithWriters.blogspot.com blog focuses on the writing life and book marketing and promotion. It is a Writers' Digest 101 Best blogs pick. Carolyn is also
marketing consultant, editor, and author of the multi award-winning HowToDoItFrugally Series of books for writers including the award-winningest book in the series,  The Frugal Editor.

Great Dialogue Help: In Case You Didn't Know Americans Speak Different Languages

Because people in America speak different languages--even when they are speaking English--they may not understand each other. East or West Coast. Buffalo, Orleans, or Chicago. Phoenix. I've lived in them all and, trust me, I've had my linguistically challenging moments. 

When I moved from my home state (Utah)  to work as a publicist in New York, there were days when I thought I spoke an entirely different language than New Yorkers. Perhaps it was vice versa. That was several decades ago, but apparently, that hasn’t changed. Josh Katz lists a few definitions in his Speaking American that makes those east of the Mississippi think those of us in the West “talk funny”—and vice versa.  Here are a couple from his book:

·       In the East they say “sneakers.” Westerners call them tennis shoes.

·       In the East they say “scrap paper.” Westerners say “scratch paper.”

·       Easterners say “skillet.” Westerners say “frying pan.”

Back in my New York days, I had to remember to say “light bulb” rather than “light globe” if I expected to find one at the grocery store and to say “highway” rather than “freeway” because the big roads around New York City were most decidedly not free.

PS: If you write fiction or use dialogue in your nonfiction, you need Katz's book. You can buy Katz’s book on Amazon.

MORE ABOUT THE BLOGGER

 Carolyn Howard-Johnson is the author of fiction, creative nonfiction, and poetry. She is also a The Frugal Book Promoter and The Frugal Editor. Her latest is in the series is  How to Get Great Book Reviews Frugally and Ethically. Learn more on her Amazon profile page, http://bit.ly/CarolynsAmznProfile . Great Little Last Minute Editing Tips for Writers is one of her booklets--perfect for inexpensive gift giving--and The Great First Impression Book Proposal, another booklet, helps writers who want to be traditionally published. She has three FRUGAL books for retailers including one she encourages authors to read because it will help them convince retailers to host their workshops, presentations, and signings. It is A Retailer’s Guide to Frugal In-Store Promotions: How To Increase Profits and Spit in the Eyes of Economic Downturns with Thrifty Events and Sales Techniques. She helps writers extend the exposure of their favorite reviews at TheNewBookReview.blogspot.com. She also blogs at all things editing--grammar, formatting and more--at The Frugal, Smart,and Tuned-In Editor (http://TheFrugalEditor.blogspot.com). Her SharingwithWriters.blogspot.com blog focuses on the writing life and book marketing and promotion. It is a Writers' Digest 101 Best blogs pick. Carolyn is also
marketing consultant, editor, and author of the multi award-winning HowToDoItFrugally Series of books for writers including the award-winningest book in the series,  The Frugal Editor.