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"'The Frugal Editor: Do-It-Yourself Editing Secrets for Authors' is a complete course of instruction under one cover." ~ Jim Cox Editor-in-Chief Midwest Book Review


Showing posts with label wordiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wordiness. Show all posts

Friday, December 11, 2020

Your Best Writing May Not Be What You Think

Your Best Writing May Not Be What You Think  

By Carolyn Howard-Johnson 

One of the biggest writing problems I see among people in my mentoring program, and others who hire me to improve their writing, is that they're afraid to write like they talk. Perhaps they fear “wordiness”, but sometimes writing like you talk is less wordy. 

For instance, they never use one-word sentences. Or fragments. Those, for sure, are not wordy!

They refuse to start sentences with words such as "and" and "but" because an elementary teacher way back when told them not to.

They try to sound important when they write. So they use long words in long sentences that make up long paragraphs.

They remove all slang from their writing so it's clean and pure. And often, boring.

Business coach Michael Angier agrees.

"Too many times, I see people who are good verbal communicators try to put
on a different air in their writing," he says. "It doesn't work. It's much
better to be conversational."

Writing like you talk is one of thirteen tips Michael offers for writing clearly and convincingly. It was one of the lead articles in an issue of Joan Stewart’s free subscription newsletter, The Publicity Hound.

 

Lisa Cron’s book, Wired for Story (http://bit.ly/Wired4Story), shows us how humans were storytellers long before they were writers and how the processes in their lives wired us for story. Story and anecdote. It works for articles like this. It works for novels—great novels. And you’ll see it appearing more and more often as part of news stories. Another book I recommend is Tom Chiarella’s Writing Dialogue (http://bit.ly/Chiarella) published by Writer’s Digest. You may find it inexpensively on Amazon’s New and Used feature. 

 

In the newest book in my multi award-winning HowToDoItFrugally Series of books for writing, How to Get Great Book Reviews Frugally and Ethically, I remind authors that the best blurbs and endorsements come from people who compliment their books and their style in off-the-cuff conversations. When asked to write a blurb or endorsement, the same people may use language that is stiff, official—and unconvincing. I tell them to ask their contacts (or reader) if they can use what their reader just said to them rather than having them back up and make it into a brittle, lifeless twig. 


And in the second edition of my Great Little Last-Minute Editing Tips, to be released September 1 and now in pre-sale mode on Amazon, I talk about how fear of breaking grammar rules (that often, by the way, aren’t really “rules” at all!) leads to unnatural dialogue. This little book also contains some of the word trippers I see most frequently in my clients’ work, and that is where there is no room wiggle room for making the wrong choice. 

 

Readers probably spent many years reading staid textbooks. They may now prefer to learn what they need quickly. When authors make their point with stories (and do it colloquially), they find their readers more easily bond to them. It’s about connection. Think loyalty.

 

Have you ever wondered why many are turning to the Web for information even at the risk of fake news and unprofessional advice. They are in a hurry. They’re after easily absorbed information (retention). You can provide both. Sure. Watch for wordiness. But don’t skip the story your readers’ brains crave. They’ll love you for it. 

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Carolyn Howard-Johnson writes fiction, poetry; and the #HowToDoItFrugally Series of books for writers including the award-winning third edition of, The Frugal Book Promoter: How to get nearly free publicity on your own or by partnering with your publisher; The multi award-winning second edition of The Frugal Editor; . and the second edition of The Great First Impression Book Proposal. The newest in the series is the second edition of her Great Little Last Minute Editing Tips for Writers. Her blog  TheNewBookReview.blogspot.com, lets authors recycle their favorite reviews absolutely free. Find submission guidelines in a tab at the top of the home page.



MORE ABOUT THE BLOGGER 

 Carolyn Howard-Johnson is the author of fiction, creative nonfiction, and poetry. She is also a marketing consultant, editor, and author of the multi award-winning HowToDoItFrugally Series of books for writers including the award-winning second editions of The Frugal Book Promoter and The Frugal Editor. Her latest is in the series is How to Get Great Book Reviews Frugally and Ethically. Learn more on her Amazon profile page, http://bit.ly/CarolynsAmznProfile. Great Little Last Minute Editing Tips for Writers is one of her booklets--perfect for inexpensive gift giving--and The Great First Impression Book Proposal, another booklet, helps writers who want to be traditionally published. She has three FRUGAL books for retailers including one she encourages authors to read because it will help them convince retailers to host their workshops, presentations, and signings. It is A Retailer’s Guide to Frugal In-Store Promotions: How To Increase Profits and Spit in the Eyes of Economic Downturns with Thrifty Events and Sales Techniques. She helps writers extend the exposure of their favorite reviews at TheNewBookReview.blogspot.com. She also blogs at all things editing--grammar, formatting and more--at The Frugal, Smart,and Tuned-In Editor (http://TheFrugalEditor.blogspot.com). Her SharingwithWriters.blogspot.com blog focuses on the writing life and book marketing and promotion. It is a Writers' Digest 101 Best blogs pick.

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

One Syllable Words and Tighter Writing

Today my author friend (and director of several Florida book fairs!) shares some of her tight writing knowledge.  I sometimes have trouble using pronouns when it would be clearer to use the specific noun, but overall it seems this article will be a reminder for many of us writers.

The Mighty Monosyllabic
by
Valerie Allen
We are told to write tight is to write well. Do not use three words when one will do. Use one strong verb to get the job done.

The above paragraph is an example of using one-syllable words to convey exact meaning. English has many powerful one-syllable words, 20 of which make up approximately 25% of all spoken English.

In order of frequency, the most often used one-syllable words are:
  • I
  • you
  • the
  • a
  • to
  • is
  • it
  • that
  • of
  • and
  • in
  • what
  • he
  • this
  • have
  • do
  • she
  • not
  • on
  • they
You can use the find feature on your computer to see how many times you have used these mighty monosyllabic words for tighter writing.

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Valerie Allen writes fiction, non-fiction, short stories, plays, and children's books. She is a popular speaker at writer's conferences, libraries, and community events using her book: Write, Publish, Sell! Quick, Easy, Inexpensive Ideas for the Marketing Challenged 2nd Edition. Amazon.com/dp/1480043855

She is co-founder of Authors for Authors, which supports new and experienced authors with book fairs, book launches, book displays, and writing seminars. Authors from across the US have had their books displayed at two Florida book fairs held in March and November each year sponsored by AuthorsforAuthors.com

ABOUT THE GUEST BLOGGER


Valerie Allen can be contacted via FB, Twitter, Google+ and at VAllenWriter@gmail.com    ValerieAllenWriter.com     Amazon.com/author/valerieallen

ABOUT THE FRUGAL, SMART, AND TUNED-IN BLOGGER

 Carolyn Howard-Johnson edits, consults, and speaks on issues of writing and publishing. Find her at http://howtodoitfrugally.com. Find the second edition of her multi award-winning The Frugal Editor: Do-it-yourself editing secrets for authors: From your query letter to final manuscript to the marketing of your bestseller. (HowToDoItFrugally Series of Books for Writers). Learn more about her other authors' aids at www.howtodoitfrugally.com/writers_books.htm , where writers find lists and other helps including , Great Little Last-Minute Editing Tips on the Resources for Writers page. She blogs on all things publishing (not just editing!) at her SharingingwithWriters blog. She tweets writers' resources at www.twitter.com/frugalbookpromo . Please tweet this post to your followers. We all need a little help with editing. (-:

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Book Fair Director Lists Annoying Wordiness Devils

Welcome to Valerie Allen, author and director of several book fairs in Florida. I love this little list she has compiled. Simple little wordiness constructions can sneak into our writing so easily! Be sure to check her little bio below with possibilities the growth of your career in mind.

Wasted Words
by
Valerie Allen


Pleonasmus: the use of more words than is necessary to express an idea.

Extra words serve no purpose and slow your writing. Some common examples:

I can stop at this point in time.
I can stop now.

She sat down in the chair.
She sat in the chair.

He nodded his head up and down.
He nodded.

She shrugged her shoulders.
She shrugged.

He shook his head from side to side.
He shook his head.

What he said was that it was not his fault.
He said it was not his fault.


Here are some very special, extra annoying, so excessive, tiny little writing devils to always look out for at all times in your prose writing:

  • Brand new
  • Every single time
  • Hefty large
  • Huge giant
  • Irregardless
  • Killed dead
  • Sleepy tired
  • Slightly impossible
  • Stupid moron
  • Teensy weensy
  • Up on the tabletop
  • Very unique

MORE ABOUT TODAY'S GUEST BLOGGER

Valerie Allen, author, playwright, and speaker, writes fiction, non-fiction, short stories, plays, and children's books. She is a popular speaker at writer's conferences, libraries, and community events using her book: Write, Publish, Sell! Quick, Easy, Inexpensive Ideas for the Marketing Challenged 2nd Edition.
She is a co-founder of Authors for Authors, which supports new and experienced authors with book fairs, book launches, book displays, and writing seminars. Authors from across the US  have had their books displayed at two Florida book fairs held in March and November sponsored by AuthorsforAuthors.com
Valerie Allen can be contacted via FB, Twitter, Google+ and at VAllenWriter@gmail.com or ValerieAllenWriter.com
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Carolyn Howard-Johnson edits, consults, and speaks on issues of writing and publishing. Find her at http://howtodoitfrugally.com. Find the second edition of her multi award-winning The Frugal Editor: Do-it-yourself editing secrets for authors: From your query letter to final manuscript to the marketing of your bestseller. (HowToDoItFrugally Series of Books for Writers). Learn more about her other authors' aids at www.howtodoitfrugally.com/writers_books.htm , where writers find lists and other helps including , Great Little Last-Minute Editing Tips on the Resources for Writers page. She blogs on all things publishing (not just editing!) at her SharingingwithWriters blog. She tweets writers' resources at www.twitter.com/frugalbookpromo . Please tweet this post to your followers. We all need a little help with editing. (-:

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

On Editing: Wordiness Producers

I have to post these things for my dear Frugal, Smart, and Tuned-In Editor Blog when I think of them--which is usually while I'm editing. Here are a couple of phrases that contribute to wordiness.

 
“I find” and “taken the time to” aren’t awful phrases but they contribute to wordiness. They can usually be deleted from copy without losing meaning and what you say without them will be more direct, more forceful, more memorable and, well . . . cleaner.




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Carolyn Howard-Johnson edits, consults. and speaks on issues of publishing. Find her The Frugal Editor: Put Your Best Book Forward to Avoid Humiliation and Ensure Success (How To Do It Frugally series of book for writers). Learn more about her other authors' aids at www.howtodoitfrugally.com/writers_books.htm , where writers will find lists and other helps including Great Little Last-Minute Editing Tips on the Resources for Writers page. She blogs on all things publishing (not just editing!) at her Sharing with Writers blog. She tweets writers' resources at www.twitter.com/frugalbookpromo . Please tweet this post to your followers. We all need a little help with editing. (-:

Friday, October 26, 2012

University Instructor Shares Composition Secrets

As many of you who follow this blog know, I often run specifics on wordiness. Today my guest blogger Kate Willson shares an opinion piece (and how-to article) on wordiness and a couple other things that contribute to that malady. I hope you'll leave her a comment.

What Writers and College Students Should Know About Wordiness
 
By Kate Willson

I teach a few freshman composition classes at a large state university. Each year, I'm baffled by just how verbose my students' writing is. I put forth quite a bit of effort each semester trying to get them to focus on clarity and concision, but it often seems like a lost cause. High school teachers must be training kids to write as though they're paid by the word. It's difficult to get my students to unlearn bad writing habits in one semester. I feel satisfied when just a handful of my students each year abandon their written long-windedness.


I've noticed that many of my university colleagues in other disciplines also have a problem getting to the point in writing. I think that concision is something most writers, of all ages and levels of education, struggle with. Even though my background is in writing and rhetoric, I admittedly still find it challenging to make my writing as short and snappy as it could be.

As we all strive to become more concise, clear writers, here are a few things I believe we should keep in mind about wordiness:


It derails readers

A sentence that's made up of 24 words is less pleasant to read than a sentence that's made up of 12 words. If you can say the same thing using fewer words, do it. Wordiness makes things harder on your readers. When you jam too many words in a sentence, your readers are more likely to get lost, confused, and frustrated. You're doing your audience a favor when you do your best to keep it short.


It prevents you from developing a unique writing style

Kurt Vonnegut once wrote, "the writing style which is most natural for you is bound to echo the speech you heard when a child." Chances are, your parents weren't using SAT vocabulary words and obscenely convoluted sentences to tell you to eat your vegetables. The language you heard as a child was probably relatively simple and clear, and it probably made a lot of sense to you. Try writing in the same manner you speak and in the same manner those around you speak. Doing so will allow you to develop a writing style that's more natural and appealing to readers.


Proper editing can prevent it

Sometimes our first and second drafts end up wordy. That's OK. Being hyper aware of the economy of your language can stifle your creativity. So, don't get too hung up on being concise. Just get your ideas out on paper, edit while you write, and then go back and edit to eliminate bad writing habits like verbosity. Occasional wordiness isn't the end of the world, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do what you can to edit it out of your work.


Next time you sit down in front of a blank page, keep in mind that wordiness does more harm than good. And enjoy becoming a more concise, thoughtful writer!

~ Kate Willson is a professional writer and blogger. Well-versed in all topics pertaining to college life, Kate frequently contributes to top online education sites. Please leave your comments and questions for Kate below!

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Carolyn Howard-Johnson edits, consults. and speaks on issues of publishing. Find her The Frugal Editor: Put Your Best Book Forward to Avoid Humiliation and Ensure Success (How To Do It Frugally series of book for writers). Learn more about her other authors' aids at www.howtodoitfrugally.com/writers_books.htm , where writers will find lists and other helps including Great Little Last-Minute Editing Tips on the Resources for Writers page. She blogs on all things publishing (not just editing!) at her Sharing with Writers blog. She tweets writers' resources at www.twitter.com/frugalbookpromo . Please tweet this post to your followers. We all need a little help with editing. (-:

Thursday, October 14, 2010

On Wordiness

As you know, I am running a series of quick posts on wordiness. You can find others by using this blog's search window. Use the keyword "wordiness."

WORDINESS ALERTS

Here's something I ran across as I was reading my local newspaper yesterday. You see in your copy, “It is a well known fact that . . . “.

Let’s pretend the sentence is: “It is a well known fact that English teachers know grammar well.” Look at all those words. An editor might suggest the writer cut lots of them and just say, “English teachers know grammar well.”

Eventually all my "wordiness alerts" may go into a booklet for easy reference. If you have some for me, please let me know with a comment. (-: Yes, you'll be credited! With a link, if you wish.



----- Carolyn Howard-Johnson edits, consults and speaks on issues of publishing. Find her The Frugal Editor: Put Your Best Book Forward to Avoid Humiliation and Ensure Success at http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0978515870. Learn more about her other authors' aids at www.howtodoitfrugally.com, where writers will find lists and other helps on the Resources for Writers page. She blogs on all things publishing (not just editing!) at her Sharing with Writers blog. Find me tweeting writers' resources at www.twitter.com/frugalbookpromo. And please tweet this post to your followers. We all need a little help with editing. (-:

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Patrika Vaughn Contributes Ideas for Cleaner Copy

Patrika Vaughn will be guest blogger here at The Frugal, Smart, and Tuned-In Editor for the next little while. She's sharing until she runs out of stodgy, wordy, or otherwise unattractive constructions. The numbering in each installment takes up where the last column left off. You don’t want to miss any! Next up, number four, five, and six! (-:

By eliminating stodgy phrases from your letters, e-mails, and even fiction writing, you can make everything you write significantly better.


1. "Yours very truly" (also "Sincerely yours" and "Very truly yours") ~ You are not theirs. These closings are antiquated. I find myself using "Sincerely" almost all the time.

2. "Respectfully" - This closing has a solemn, almost hat-in-hand aspect to it that I dislike. I see it used in denial letters all the time. Perhaps what the writer is thinking is "If I use ‘Respectfully’ it will soften the blow." But, of course, it doesn’t. It just adds a somber tone and won’t make the reader any happier about having his or her claim denied.

3. "Please be advised ..." - A lawyer-like phrase that is almost always unnecessary. Usually you are not so much giving "advice" as you are "telling’ or "informing." Save this phrase for the act of giving of advice. But no need to write: "Please be advised that the check is overdue." Simply write: "The check is overdue." Instead of "I advised him to call me tomorrow," just write "I told [or asked] him to call me tomorrow."

Maybe "told” has a bit too harsh a tone for some, in which case feel free to use this "advice" as needed. But "advise" or "be advised" is almost always overkill.

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Patrika Vaughn, your Author's Advocate, helps new voices achieve publication. She will work with you from the time you say, "I've got a great idea for a book!" through successful publication and marketing. Whether you are a professional building authority for your practice, a fiction or non-fiction writer, she can help... .even ghostwrite it for you! www.acapela.com



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Carolyn Howard-Johnson edits, consults and speaks on issues of publishing. Find her The Frugal Editor: Put Your Best Book Forward to Avoid Humiliation and Ensure Success
at http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0978515870. Her new booklet Great Little Last Minute Editing Tips is now available, too. Learn more about her other authors' aids at www.howtodoitfrugally.com, where writers will find lists and other helps on the Resources for Writers page. She blogs on all things publishing (not just editing!) at her Sharing with Writers blog.
Find me tweeting writers' resources at www.twitter.com/frugalbookpromo. And please tweet this post to your followers. We all need a little help with editing. (-:

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Call for Pet Peeves on Wordiness Suggestions

I put out a call for editing ideas in my newsletter because I have a new book coming out. The proof is on its way to me. It's really a booklet because I think people do better when they get things like Trip-You-Up words in small doses. As I was writing it, I realized I need suggestions for the next in the series. Wordiness has been a popular subject on this blog.

I already have a few from subscribers Nadine Laman, Liz Babcock and June Casagrande who have sumitted ideas. But I need more! The new one would make three lists in all. (There is a list in your copy of The Frugal Editor: Put Your Best Book Forward to Avoid Humiliation and Ensure Success, too. Find it at www.budurl.com/TheFrugalEditor). I'm also planning a booklet on ugly jargon words or phrases we'd best avoid. So won't you help? Send your ideas to me at HoJoNews@aol.com.

And, in the meantime, here's a suggestion I published in my Sharing with Writers newsletter:


Hi, Carolyn;

You asked for ideas on ugly words and jargon to avoid. My current un-pet phrase is "a number of," which I think users believe sounds better than "several." The reason why I hate the term is that it's so unhelpful for the reader. That number could be anything from three to millions — who knows? I think the user of this term often is thinking of a number that's more than two but an unimpressive number more than two (like maybe three). Whenever I run across the term in my editing, I substitute "several," which at least gives the reader the idea that the number being spoken of is relatively small.

That was fun to rant! I'll keep you in mind as I run across more such

Liz Babcock, editor of Longridge division of the California Writer’s Club’s newsletter. If you’d like to subscribe, please send a request to Liz at lizbab@iwvisp.com


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Carolyn Howard-Johnson edits, consults and speaks on issues of publishing. Find her The Frugal Editor: Put Your Best Book Forward to Avoid Humiliation and Ensure Success at http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0978515870. Learn more about her other authors' aids at www.howtodoitfrugally.com, where writers will find lists and other helps on the Resources for Writers page. She blogs on all things publishing (not just editing!) at her Sharing with Writers blog.
And please tweet to your followers. We all need a little help with editing. (-:

Friday, July 24, 2009

Gerunds: To Use Them or Not to Use Them, That Is the Grammar Question





Most of us don't want to be bothered with grammar terms so I do my best to avoid them. The word "gerund" is a case in point. On the other hand, we writers love words and know they serve a function. So somebody at some point made up the word "gerund" so we could talk about a certain part of speech easily without redefining it every time the subject came up.

So why would the subject come up? It doesn't very often. But writers are often warned to be wary of ugly gerunds because they often make sentences feel awkward or--worse--because they are indicators that their sentences may be getting..well, wordy. Mind you, not all gerunds are ugly, but some of them are.

So what is a a gerund? It's a verb in its "ing" form that doesn't know its place. It is no longer playing the part of a verb but has migrated intead to the position of a noun. So, when we write "I am walking," "walking" is a verb. When we write "Walking is good for you," "walking" is a noun.

There is nothing wrong with either of those examples. Neither is awkward and neither is wordy. But when gerunds start cropping up in "subordinate clauses," or "dependent clauses"--meaning the little phrases that aren't really sentences but get hooked onto your main sentences--they can be a danger signal. But so can "ings" when they are still functioning as part of the verb.

Ask yourself if you really need that "ing." Ask whether its a gerund. Can you make the verb simpler by eliminating the "ing" form and if you did would it change the meaning? If you changed it would you make the sentence move along more quickly? If you changed it would you eliminate a word or two? Could you eliminate the entire clause with the "ing" in it? Or make it into a simple sentence of its own and thus make your sentence simpler and easier to read?

And the last question, do you want to do any of those things? If someone has asked Faulkner if he wouldn't prefer to make a "sentence simpler and easier to read" he probably would have been horrified. He was reproducing what he saw as the way his characters think, not the way they write. It was a choice he made. But I'm willing to bet he knew what a "gerund" is. And when to get rid of one.

By the way, my book The Frugal Editor, isn't really a book about grammar. It's a book about making our books as professional as possible by finding typos, by using better formatting and even by sprucing up our writing skills. It's also about using all of those things to better our chances of selling our books. For great editing is great marketing, especially when it comes to getting a publisher or an agent for our hot-off-the-wordprocessor novel.

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Carolyn Howard-Johnson edits, consults and speaks on issues of publishing. Find her The Frugal Editor: Put Your Best Book Forward to Avoid Humiliation and Ensure Success at http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0978515870. Learn more about her other authors' aids at www.howtodoitfrugally.com, where writers will find lists and other helps on the Resources for Writers page. She blogs on all things publishing (not just editing!) at her Sharing with Writers blog.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Go Ahead and Eliminate Wordiness

As I was watching CNN this morning the meteorlogist used a phrase that I felt compelled to add to my wordiness list (see the prior post on this blog. It's "go ahead and" or "just go ahead and." So, if the sentence is something like "I wanted to go ahead an do it," the "go ahead" part can usually be eliminated. In fact it usually should be eliminated. It probably wouldn't hurt to go ahead and eliminate this phrase from our speech, too. (-:
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Carolyn Howard-Johnson edits, consults and speaks on issues of publishing. Find her The Frugal Editor: Put Your Best Book Forward to Avoid Humiliation and Ensure Success at http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0978515870. Learn more about her other authors' aids at www.howtodoitfrugally.com, where writers will find lists and other helps on the Resources for Writers page. She blogs on all things publishing (not just editing!) at her Sharing with Writers blog.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Wordy Phrases That May Tick Off Agent, Editor or Reader


I thought I'd share with you some wordy phrases that can always be shortened, though--on rare occasions--you may not want to do that. An example of such an occasion might be in the dialogue of a character who is prone to wordiness. Very occasionally the wordy phrase might reveal your intent more clearly than the shortened one. It's yours to decide but when you see these phrases in your writing they're clear warnings to take heed:

"The exact same..." That's redundant, huh? "The same" will do.
"Due to the fact that..." Substitue "because."
"In need of..." Just "need" will do.
"In addition to..." is a phrase that forces you to repeat something you've already said.
"Used for purposes of..." How about just "Used for..."
"She is a woman who..." can probably be replaced with the woman's name or just plain "she."
"May be in need of..." That one can shortened to "may need."

These little gems may litter our speech unnoticed but may very well annoy an agent or editor if you use them in a query letter. These people have been around the publishing yard for a while and will often use wordiness as a determiner: Should they chuck the manuscript or give it a read.

Mmmmm. "May very well..." in that last paragraph of mine. How about just "may." It's nice to write like we talk. It can even help us reflect our personalities in our work. But that "very well" couldn't add that much to this piece--especially at the risk of ticking off a reader.

I bet you can find others in this post if you look. I'm thinking of collecting often-used, wordy phrases. Maybe for a booklet. If you think of any of your own, please let me know. If I include your suggestion, I'll credit you and include the name of your title and a link to your Web site. Find me at HoJoNews @ AOL. com.

PS: See the next post for another phrase stright from CNN's morning news.

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Carolyn Howard-Johnson edits, consults and speaks on issues of publishing. Find her The Frugal Editor: Put Your Best Book Forward to Avoid Humiliation and Ensure Success at http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0978515870. Learn more about her other authors' aids at www.howtodoitfrugally.com, where writers will find lists and other helps on the Resources for Writers page. She blogs on all things publishing (not just editing!) at her Sharing with Writers blog.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Editor Boyd Sutton, Dangling Participles and the Ewwww or Eiew Factor

You will find a conversation between Boyd Sutton, one of my fellows at Word_Mage @ yahoogroups.com and me. He gave me permission to share with you.

Boyd said:

Yep, I caught the grammar vs. grammatical, Carolyn. Good for you. And thanks
for remembering me.

When you started talking about dangling participles I had two reactions. First, my eyes started glazing over. Grammar terms. Eiew! Embarrassment came next. I couldn't define a dangling participle if it were the $1,000,000 question.

But wait! You noted that there was an entire chapter devoted to it in The Frugal Editor. So I went immediately to TFE and found the chapter on DPs and gerunds. Eiew! Another grammar term. But it was a joy to read. You have the same "eiew" response to such terms and made it painless for me.

Now, I have another "editorial" question for you and the gang. What do you call it when people add an unnecessary word, as in, "He dialed up the girl's number." I see this all the time. In my critique group, I just say, "as opposed to 'dialed down' the girl's number?" and they get the point. It also shows up in "conjured up," "winnowed down," and on and on. What's that called? Grammarians (nope, it's not "grammers"), with all their fancy names and terms, must have a high-falutin term for that.

Boyd Sutton, Editor, the
Wisconsin Writers' Journal, www.wrwa.net

From Carolyn:

Boyd, I call it "colloquial." Or on second thought, maybe "redundant." Ha! But then you already read that I'm not much for all those terms that make us nod off when anything remotely related to grammar comes up.

Notice I didn't say "colloquial usage." I have a strong dislike of words that end with "age." Not just because of my age, either. Like "signage." Seems we already have a perfectly good word for that. It's "signs." Seems we're just trying to sound high falutin' with an extra syllable. But "dialed up" adds a whole new word, not just an extra syllable. So in this case, I'd consider another term for your example. Consider "dumbing down." Ahem.

LOL. You asked.
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Carolyn Howard-Johnson edits and consults on issues of publishing. Find her The Frugal Editor: Put Your Best Book Forward to Avoid Humiliation and Ensure Success on Amazon. Learn more about her other authors' aids at www.howtodoitfrugally.com.